Many people live with pain. Emotional, physical, spiritual pain.  Their lives aren’t tragic, but they know they could feel  and function much better than they are now.

When people are feeling overwhelmed, depressed and anxious they have choices in their treatment and coping strategies. But any change has a cost involved. Some of the cost is financial, but other costs include time, inconvenience, self-perception as a person who “needs help,” to name just a few.

No matter what change someone is going to address their pain, there is an investment of resources: money (again), time away from other important tasks (work, kids, exercise), energy that could be invested elsewhere.

Investing in a course of psychotherapy involves all these costs and use of resources. So does a trip to Disney World.

How are the two related to a person in pain?  Both claim to make you feel better (Disney tells us they are “the happiest place on earth.”).  Both allow us to get away from our troubles for awhile. Both let us experience things we don’t normally feel or do in our day-to-day lives.  After some time in each place, we do feel better for awhile.

We know that  a trip to Disney is not an effective treatment for emotional pain because the good feelings wear off and we are left feeling the same once we return home. But not everybody knows this. How often do you hear a friend or family member say, “If I could only get away for awhile, I”d feel better,”?

So, how does a person decide to invest in mental health treatment instead of a trip to Disney World?

I don’t say that to be flip or smart. I see this decision process often take place  in my office (probably because I primarily work with kids).  Families will tell me they do not have the money to invest in psychotherapy or parent coaching, and in the next breath say they will be heading to Disney World for a week.

Disney meets a need. Yes, some of it is fun (and psychotherapy cannot bill itself as fun). But have you ever been to Disney World with your family?  How fun is it? There are fun parts, but lots of it is annoying, inconvenient and expensive.

Disney’s marketing tells us they are a happy place, where you can get away from your troubles and experience the fantasies that you have had since you were a young child.  They tell us they are a place to escape your daily life and troubles.  It’s an escape. And there is nothing wrong with that.

But when someone tells you they can’t afford your services but are going to Disney (or on a cruise, to Jamaica, or on a safari) what are they telling you?  They have money somewhere or else they couldn’t afford the vacation. (And let me tell you, Disney costs a lot of money, even for a few days).

There is no simple answer to this.  It’s something I puzzle over when ever I hear families making big decisions about how they spend their discretionary income.

My thinking is that as mental health professionals we don’t do a good job telling people how we can make them feel better in the present and the future. We don’t show them how working with us can improve their life, minimize the pain and give them tools to cope when things become difficult.

How do we help people make more informed decisions when they feel overwhelmed and in need of relief?